Thinking of You
by allieisrandom
Summary: My first songfic! Please review! It takes place several months after season four ended. Ships are Krisatt, RJ/Dani, and Junior/Gillian.


**A/N: Ok, I PROMISE I will update Come Back To Me soon, but this songfic idea just popped into my head and I had to write it down! This is one of the few fics I ever have and ever will write in which season four does-get ready for it-actually exist. Just to warn you, the prospective on this thing flips alot, so be on the lookout for it! And as long as I'm writing one of these things, no, I don't own this song, and I don't own any of the Wildfire Characters. I GUARANTEE you that Season Four would have been much more fun if I did, though. **

_Comparisons are easily done  
><em>_Once you've had a taste of perfection_

"Hey, Dani?" called Matt. "You coming to bed?"

"I think I'll stay out here for a while," said Dani. She walked through the Raintree barn, absentmindedly stopping to stroke a horse's nose. Beside the stall of one of her favorite horses was a box. And inside that box was her most prize posession. Out of all of the beautiful things she owned, antiques, jewelry, even ribbons and trophies she had won at the track, who would have thought that her favorite thing in the world would be a dirty black cowboy hat?

_Like an apple hanging from a tree  
><em>_I picked the ripest one  
><em>_I still got the seed_

Dani lifted the cowboy hat and held it close to her face. She didn't dare put it on-nobody was allowed to wear that hat ever again. Not even Junior. It had only ever belonged to one man and it only ever would. It still had dirt on it from when it fell off it's owner's head for the last time. It still smelled like a bullring. It still smelled like _him_. She closed her eyes, and the words, "Dani darling...it was worth the wait" flashed through her brain.

Not understanding why his girlfriend spent so much time out in the barn these days, and knowing that it would be quite a while before she actually came in, Matt went up to the big house to see his family. He looked around, remembering all the good times he'd had here before moving out. Sitting on the couch eating tubs of ice cream while watching TV with Kris and Junior. Eating breakfast with Kris at the table while going over the horses' workout times. Him and Kris sitting together on the couch while looking at the computer, their cheeks almost touching.

And then there was that one night in his former bedroom...

_You said move on, where do I go?  
><em>_I guess, second best is all I will know_

"Hey, Matt? What's up?"

"Huh?" said Matt. Then he finally noticed that his Mom and Pablo were sitting on the couch right in front of him.

"Guess what?" said Jean. "I've finally got the first page of my scrapbook done. Well, it's really the last page. I figured I'd start with the stuff that happened most recently and work my way back."

"That's cool," said Matt. Then, mostly out of politeness, he walked over and looked at it. The page was white with gold trim: the perfect color to match the pictures of Kris and Junior's wedding. Matt smiled when he saw the picture of them looking into each other's eyes. He was happy for his friends. He really was. But at the same time, he couldn't help but wonder...

_'Cause when I'm with him I am  
><em>_Thinking of You_

Down the road, Kris Furillo Davis sighed. "Why did I not realize that this was going to happen? Why did I not think this through better? Yeah, it was amazing. It felt good to be so in love with someone. But you know what? When something feels too good to be true, it probably is. Don't you agree?"

Wildfire neighed and tossed his head in response. Kris sighed. "Yeah, I know. You just want your carrots." She pulled a carrot out of her pocket and fed it to Wildfire. "What were we thinking, you and me, moving over here to Davis Farms? I don't fit in there. I'm not the kind of girl who likes to sit around for hours planning the next Davis Charity Ball or walk around schmoozing with the investors. Or who likes to walk around all the time with a cell phone attached to her hip so she can talk to clients whenever she needs to. Or who likes to sit around in an office all the time crunching numbers." Why had she not realized-in fact, the possibilty had never even occured to her-that if she moved to Davis Farms, she would be expected to fill Dani Davis's shoes?

_What you would do if  
><em>_You were the one who was  
><em>_Spending the night_

"What I wouldn't give to be back at Raintree right now," said Kris. There, she fit in. If she had married Matt, nobody would mind the farm's co-owner's wife riding for them in races, not like in the Davis world when such behavior was looked down upon. And she would have in-laws who actually wanted to accept her as a member of their family. Not like Ken always looking at her like she was the biggest mistake Junior had ever made. The sad thing was, he was actually turning out to be right.

If she had married Matt instead of Junior, she would be able to say that she loved her own husband. Not that she was lusting after her ex-boyfriend who she had left for the man she was married to now who happened to be dating her best friend and sister-in-law. This wasn't exactly what she had dreamed about when she was a little girl.

Just then, her cell phone rang. Kris was beginning to _hate_ that cell phone. She was hardly able to use it to talk to the people she actually cared about, because there were so many clients calling her. "Hello, this is Kris Furillo Davis. A meeting tomorrow at eleven? Sure. Of course." She hung up. It was official. Another entire day was booked.

_Oh I wish that I  
><em>_Was looking into your eyes_

"Oh, Wildfire," said Kris. "I feel trapped!" Then she put her head down on his chest and sighed. But as much as she loved the horse, she would have been much more content to have Matt's arms around her at that moment.

Inside the mansion, Junior was looking at a picture taken in the winners' circle of himself, his father, Kris, and one of their other horses. For some reason, he always pictured Kris as being in her jockey's outfit. Maybe becuase their whole marriage had been like a horse race: a quick, heart-pounding thrill ride around the track. But now they had crossed the finish line. The race was over, and they were waiting for the judges to announce the score. Neither one of them seemed willing to admit that they knew they had lost.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Junior sighed and picked it up. Shocked when he realized that he recognized that phone number. "Hey there! Long time no see! How are you doing?"

_You're like an indian summer in the  
><em>_Middle of a winter  
><em>_Like a hard candy with a  
><em>_Surprise center_

"Doing well, quite well," said Gillian. "Guess where I am right now?"

"Where?" asked Junior.

"California," said Gillian. "I had to come to talk to my father about some business. And as long as I'm here, I thought maybe we could get together for lunch tomorrow. Maybe talk for a while."

"Okay," sure said Junior.

As soon as he hung up the phone, he realized what he had just done. It suddenly occured to him that Gillian might not _know_ that he had gotten married. Had he just-without even thinking it through-agreed to out on a date with another woman?

_How do I get better once I've had the best  
><em>_You said there's tons of fish in the water  
><em>_So the waters I will test_

Junior's mind began to race. There he was again, pounding down that never-ending track, running the race that had already ended months ago when Kris had moved into Dani's old bedroom, allegedly because it was closer to the office, so that she could live the life that they both knew she hated. Was this thing with Gillian going to be a date or not? And if it was, would he really be cheating on Kris by going? Their marriage was dead anyway, wasn't it? It was just a matter of time before they admitted it to themselves.

But wasn't that what Ken had said about himself and Isabelle when he left her for Dani's mother, Marisol?

The last thing in the world that Junior wanted to do was become his father.

Gillian sighed and put down the phone in her hotel room. "Hey, honey?" she heard his voice calling.

Gillian looked up, tenatively, as always, hoping, as always, that her husband wasn't going to smack her this time. Not that it would have made much of a difference if she saw it coming. "Yes, Cary?"

"Who the hell were you talking to?" he asked. "I don't remember giving you permission to make a phone call."

"It was Davis Farms, see?" Gillian showed him the caller I.D. "They wanted to set up a meeting for tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh, okay," said Cary. "Just as long as you weren't the one to make the...hey, wait a minute. I'm playing golf with your father tomorrow afternoon. We can't have a meeting."

"They wanted to talk to me about some horses they're selling," said Gillian. "I'll say no, then try to get them to invest some money in our business. Sound like a plan?"

"Gillian, you know how I feel about you leaving the house without me," snapped Cary.

"I know," said Gillian quietly. "I'm sorry. Next time, I'll wait until you're available."

_He kissed my lips  
><em>_I taste your mouth_

"That's a good girl," said Cary, deciding to let her go. Just this once. "Come here, you." He smiled and he pressed his rough lips agains hers. Gillian hated feeling any part of his body on any part of hers more than words could say, but she didn't pull away. She even kissed back a little to avoid making him mad. She knew from past experience that the more she pretended to like it, the less unpleasant-even painful-it would get. She closed her eyes and tried hard to pretend that the man kissing her was the only one who she had ever liked who hadn't treated her badly: Junior.

_He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself_

_'Cause when I'm with him I am  
><em>_Thinking of you_

"Hey, Kris?" said Junior.

Kris looked up from where she was sitting going over some papers she would need for the following day's meeting. Or at least trying to. In the back of her mind, she and Wildfire were at Raintree. She could put him in his stall next to Flame's and say goodnight, then have dinner up at the house with her family, and then curl up with Matt in his bunkhouse, looking into his eyes, both knowing the other one as they knew themself. "Yeah?" said Kris finally.

"We need to talk," said Junior.

_What you would do if  
><em>_You were the one who was  
><em>_Spending the night_

Kris froze. Was this it? Was this really the inevitable moment when they were going to admit to each other that it was over?

Perhaps trying to avoid that moment himself-which would surely sting a little, knowing that their dream had died-Junior thought back to the last time he saw Gillian. It was the day of the illegal match race. Him putting his arm around her after she got off. How hard she was shaking when they went to go put Avatar back in his stall. Him pulling her in and cuping her head in his hands to try and tell her there was nothing she could have done and it was stupid to even think that she-a dressage rider-could beat Kris Furillo in a match race. Her kissing him. All of their clothes lying next them in a pathetic heap on the floor of the hayloft, wondering what the heck they had just done. Him pulling his clothes back on and running up to the house to talk to Ken and Dani, not even really saying goodbye.

_Oh I wish that I  
><em>_Was looking into your eyes_

For a moment, Junior wished that he could travel in time to the following day at lunch, after he had already had this conversation. But that wouldn't do.

"Let's just say it," Kris finally said. "Your father and Matt were right, and everyone else was wrong."

"My father was wrong, and everyone else was right," Dani said to herself as she sat curled up on the floor of the barn at Raintree. She was staying out here even longer than usual tonight, wondering how she was going to admit to Matt that she had moved on from RJ too soon. Even a year later, she couldn't stop thinking about him. Whenever she and Matt did something together, whether it was watching a moving or going horseback riding, she wished she could be doing it with RJ instead. It wasn't fair to him. Or herself.

_You were the best  
><em>_And yes, I do regret  
><em>_How I could let myself  
><em>_Let you go_

"Why did he have to have that stupid heart attack that night?" said Dani. "Maybe if Junior hadn't gone with me, Dad wouldn't have had the heart attack, and I would have gone with RJ. Maybe he wouldn't have come back to town for that rodeo. Maybe he wouldn't..." She sighed and buried her face in her hands.

Inside the house, Matt was thinking similar thoughts. "Why did Sheik Omar have to propose that stupid illegal match race? Why didn't I stop it before it started? Why did Dani have to blow the whistle? Why did that other horse have to bump Kris in the Bristol Stakes in the first place? Maybe if the illegal match race hadn't happened, we never would have broken up."

The "What If" Game is never fun for anyone.

_Now, now the lesson's learned  
><em>_I touched it I was burned  
><em>_Oh I think you should know..._

The next day, Junior and Gillian met for lunch at Bobby's. "Gillian, hey!" said Junior. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her on the forehead. "Any particular reason why you're dressed for a business dinner?"

"Yes, actually," said Gillian. She'd had to convince Cary that she was going to a meeting. She'd even brought a bunch of files with her, although she had left them in her car. "How have you been?"

"Good," said Junior.

Suddenly, her face fell. "You're wearing a wedding band."

Junior's eyebrows raised. "So are you." They paused. "Gillan...my marriage died."

"Mine died and went to hell," said Gillian. Both of them smiled and laughed a little. "Junior, I was wondering...I hope I'm not a complete idiot for saying this...but...do you think there's still anything between us?"

Junior took a deep breath. "You know what I started wondering last night after you called?"

"What?" asked Gillian.

"If you were the one that got away," said Junior.

_'Cause when I'm with him I am  
><em>_Thinking of you_

Gillian looked up at him in disbelief for just a moment. Then she grabbed him and kissed him as hard as she could. She knew that it was a weird place for them to start making out, but she didn't care. This was the first kiss she'd had in over a year that was anything other than emotionally or physically painful. Overwhelmbed by both gratitude and relief, she let him pull her in. Then suddenly, she pulled back sharply.

"Gillian, what's wrong?" said Junior.

"I have to warn you," said Gillian. "My husband, he...he had a really bad temper. She pulled her sleeve back slightly, letting Junior see the bruises on her shoulder. If he saw us here together, he would hurt both of us."

Junior let what she'd just said sink in for a split second. "Let me take you out of here," he said.

"What do you mean?" said Gillian.

"We'll get in my porsche, we'll drive to the airport, and then we'll take it from there," said Junior.

"Okay," said Gillian. "My bag is already packed. What about you?"

"Who needs bags when you have a credit card?" said Junior. He put his arm around her, kissed her one last time, and waved goodbye to Bobby on the way out the door.

_What you would do if  
><em>_You were the one who was  
><em>_Spending the night_

Dani woke up in her bed in the bunkhouse alone, wondering if there was really any point whatsoever to getting up today. She knew what her Dad or Junior would say to her right now. "Come on, girl, get up out of bed! It's a beautiful day, and you have a world of possibilities. Pick something you want to do and go do it." It was true, Dani had plenty of things she could do. She could either spend all day laying around in the bunkhouse feeling miserible, go out to the barn and feel miserible there, go up to the big house and pretend not to be miserible with everyone else, go out for a ride and feel miserible on horseback, go visit Davis Farms and feel miserible around Ken...

No, she decided. Maybe it was best to just stay in bed. She closed her eyes, put her head back down on the pillow, and wished desperately that RJ could be lying next to her right now.

_Oh I wish that I  
><em>_Was looking into your eyes  
><em>_Looking into your eyes_

Outside, Matt was getting ready to watch a workout with Jean and Pablo. "Are you sure Dani doesn't want to come watch?" said Jean.

"Yes, I'm sure," said Matt.

Pablo looked at him questioningly. "Why isn't she feeling well? Did she eat some bad food, or should we go out and buy an XS riding helmet and a shetland pony now?"

Matt laughed at the thought of himself having a child with Dani. "No, no, that's impossible," he said. Then he tried to remember the last time they'd done it and realized that it was beyond impossible. "Honestly, I don't think it's going to work out."

Jean nodded sympathetically. "Is she still not over that cowboy?"

"Yeah," said Matt. His unspoken words hung in the air like a strange scent: and I'm still not over Kris.

Suddenly, they heard the footsteps of a familiar bay stallion trotting up the path. "Hey, Kris!" said Pablo.

"What are you doing here?" said Jean. She walked over and hugged the girl as she swung herself down from Wildfire's back.

Kris looked at her family and decided that she might as well say it when they were all here at once. "Junior and I filed for divorce."

Jean and Pablo looked at her sympathetically and didn't notice Matt's eyes light up. "Oh," said Jean. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," said Kris. "It was fun while it lasted. I guess I just wasn't meant to be a Davis."

Everyone nodded. "Well," said Jean. "Luckily, we've still got an empty stall in the barn and an empty bedroom in the house."

Kris grinned. "I'd better go get mine and Wildfire's things back from Davis Farms."

"I'll take you there in the truck," said Matt quickly. "You can take care of the workouts for a couple of hours, right Pablo?"

Pablo nodded. As Kris and Matt walked off, he and Jean looked at each other. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" said Pablo.

Jean sighed. "You know, now that I think about it, after Matt and Tina, Kris and Cary, Matt and Gillian, Matt and Dani, and Kris and Junior...having Matt and Kris together really doesn't seem all that bad."

_Looking into your eyes_

"There he goes," said Dani, watching Matt and Kris walk together from her window in the bunkhouse. She had known this was going to happen eventually. Kris had already told her how unhappy she was at Davis Farms, and Matt's eyes still lit up every time someone happened to mention Kris's name. She was somewhat relieved that she wouldn't have to be the one to end things between them now, but at the same time seeing Matt with Kris made her a little more sad than usual. She pulled out her cell phone to text Junior-who must also be feeling brokenhearted right about now-to see if he wanted to hang out with her. But there was already a text from him there.

**I'm goin 2 Africa w/Gillian and nevr coming back bye luv ur big brother Junior**

"Seriously?" snapped Dani. "You're leaving forever and you say goodbye to me in a _text message_?" She sighed and laid her head down on the pillow for just a second. Then she got up to pack her bags. Here I go again, she thought. Back to dear old dad. Where else was she going to go?

"Dani? Is that you?"

_Why won't you walk through and  
><em>_Burst in the door and  
><em>_Take me away_

Dani froze for a second. There was no way that she had heard the voice she just heard.

The door opened, and in he walked. Just the same as the last time she saw him, except that he was missing his black cowboy hat.

"Dani, it's me."

Okay, it was official. She was losing her mind.

"I know you think I'm dead," said RJ. "I had to make it look that way. I'm sorry. I hate myself for doing this to you." He walked over to the bed slowly. The feeling as he tapped her shoulder hit het like an electric shock. She wasn't dreaming. This was really happening.

"You didn't really die?" said Dani.

"No, I didn't," said RJ. The pain was visible on his face as he realized what she must have gone through in this past year and a half, thinking that he had died. "There was a mix-up at the hospital. Some other guy died. I was just in a coma. But I'm here now."

Dani started to cry. "I missed you!" she said. "You have no idea how..."

"Shh," said RJ, scooping her small body up in his strong arms. "I'm not going anywhere, Dani. I mean it this time."

_Oh, no more mistakes  
>'Cause in your eyes<br>I'd like to stay_

"Why don't I get you out of here?" asked RJ. "For real this time. Pack your bags and move into my trailer with me."

"Yes," said Dani, burying her face in his chest. "Yes, yes, yes! I won't make too many improvements this time, I swear!"

"Dani darling," said RJ. "You can make all the improvements you want. Being with you is such a big improvement all by itself that nothing else matters anymore."

She felt exactly the same way.

_Stay_  
><em>Stay<em>

"That was hilarious when Ken Davis told you he was sorry you were leaving with that big pathetic smile on his face," said Matt.

"Yeah, right," said Kris. "I nearly laughed out loud when he offered to help me pack!" The two of them were cruising down the highway in Matt's truck. Kris's five moving boxes full of stuff and Wildfire's tack trunk were all on the back of the trunk.

"I know, right?" said Matt. They both started laughing.

"Hey, Matt?" said Kris.

"Yeah?" he said.

I feel like I could laugh with you forever, Kris wanted to say. Instead she simply said, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," said Matt.

They didn't know it yet, but from that day on, they would never have to miss each other again.

Just then, Kris's cell phone rang. It was another client calling to schedule a meeting with Mrs. Davis. She opened the car door just a crack and threw her phone out onto the highway.

She wasn't a Davis anymore.


End file.
